what's the cereal with the most sugar?
what's the cereal with the most crunch?
what's the cereal that's totally unknown?
why it'd have to be the most, uh, least expensive one!
it's not expensive!
it's got sugar in flurries!
it makes a crunch!
but it's got prunes so don't worry!

Ringmaster: Give me a P!

Kids: P!

Ringmaster: I've got your P! P! Give me a R!

Kids: R!

Ringmaster: Also got your R! R! Okay the rest...

Kids: uneberry Crunch!

Ringmaster: I've got your -uneberry Crunch! What's that spell?

Kids: Pruneberry Crunch!

Ringmaster: What'd you say?

Kids: Pruneberry Crunch!

Ringmaster: One more time!

Kids: umm... no.

Testimonial Dad: Hello, you don't know me, but I have kids. I was worried about them eating eggs, toast, bacon, cholesterol or Total. One day, I realized that: my children had no regular source of prunes! And I said: why is that? So one day, while in the rest room, in the back of a supermarket, I saw a dusty box of cereal that reminded me of a cereal that I had when I was a kid. Well frankly, it looked like it had been around since I was a kid. So I brought it home to share it with my family. How do you like it, son?

Young Son: I don't!

Dad: Look, it's Pity the Prune!

Cartoon Character Spokesman Pity the Prune: Shut the hell up, I'm Pity the Prune, I hate your family! Where's the bathroom?

Pity-ettes: Go Pity! Go Pity! Go, Go, Go Pity!

Pity the Prune: I'm Pity the Prune, my life is a laxative. While I go out at night, you're home constipated.

Dad: I'm glad that doesn't rhyme!

Pity -ettes: Show 'em you're a prune! Show 'em what you can do!
The taste of Pity's Pruneberry Crunch, brings out the sh--- prune in you!

Older Son: Dad, there's nothing in this box but prunes and sugar!?!

Pity the Prune: Quiet kid, that's two scoops of prunes!

Older Son: Dad, there's only 4 prunes, and they're all at the bottom of the box.

Dad: Son, it's the right thing to do, and a cheap way to do it.

Older Son: But Dad, the equal amount of sugar, combined with 4 prunes, when bought separately, would cost, roughly, one-third as much.

Dad: Son, just because it's good for you...

Older Son: Dad, how can this possibly be good for me? It's pure sugar! And the prunes are gooey and squishy, where's the crunch?

Dad: In our wallets, son.

Prune-ettes: There... prunes.