Live at five and CNN
Keep us all abreast
Of breaking stories that can tend
To make us anxious and depressed
Problems with no answers
Hang on like some chronic cough
And everyday some some brand new issue
Rears it head to piss you off

Bad guys win
Optimism's wearing thin
Things are spinning out of control
Cynicism's all the fad
World events could make us mad as hatters
Almost everyday, some underpinning slips away
These aren't laughing matters

Time bombs tick
People keep on getting sick
And a nickel's not worth a cent
Wickedness and greed abound
Just as peace is gaining grounds it shatters
Hate is here to stay
And justice goes to those who pay
Friends, these aren't laughing matters

The truth is scarier by far
Than anything that Stephen King could write
The stories in the paper are
The daily small, decline and fall
Spelled out in black and white
Oh what to do, what to do
How to take a brighter view
When your noodle's totally fried
Human spirits need to be
Leavened by a little levity
So take those blues and bounce them off the wall
Keep your humor, please
Cause don't you know it's times like these that
Laughing matters most of all